Rob Lowe reveals the secret to the success of his 31-year marriage to Sheryl Berkoff.
On the most recent episode of iHeartRadio’s podcast Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi, the 59-year-old actor discussed how finding the proper partner may lead to a lasting relationship.
“[Marriage] is difficult everywhere, not just in Hollywood,” he told host Bruce Bozzi. “Sheryl was and is my closest companion. Thus, if you marry for any reason other than the fact that he or she is your best friend, you will be at a disadvantage from the start, as that is the only thing that will endure while the rest of your life changes.”
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Sharing, the star of Unstable feels that forgiving allows a relationship to progress. “Some assert that marriage requires effort. I’m not sure if it requires effort, but it does require forgiveness and a keen awareness of which hill you’re willing to die on.”
Lowe acknowledged that maintaining the physical spark is a crucial aspect of a successful long-term relationship.
“I believe you absolutely need the heat,” he said. “If you don’t have the chemistry – and that’s a chemical thing – I still have that with Sheryl, you must maintain the chemistry.”
He continued, “It too comes and goes; there are times when you’re like, ‘No,’ and other times when you’re head over heels for someone.”
Since 1991, Lowe and Berkoff have been married. They met for the first time while working on Rob’s 1990 sexual thriller, Bad Influence. Matthew Edward Lowe, 30, and John Owen Lowe, 28, are their sons.
In July, the West Wing alum honored Berkoff on their 31st wedding anniversary by posting a photo of her to Instagram with a heartfelt message.
Friday he wished his wife a “Happy 31st Anniversary” and “Your love has created my universe. You are as gorgeous, intelligent, engaging, kind, and amusing as you were so many years ago.”
“Love partners for life!!” he added.
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The 9-1-1: Lone Star star revealed to PEOPLE a year ago that she had seen something very special in Berkoff since the beginning of their relationship.
Lowe recounted the first time in his life that he felt “seen”: “I had the impression that if I was ever going to be able to make it work with anyone, it would be with Sheryl.”
During the conversation, the actor also expressed his eternal gratitude to Berkoff for taking a chance on him.
“She saw things in me that nobody had ever seen before,” he stated at the time, before dubbing his marriage to Berkoff one of the “miracles” of his life.
In addition to being a wonderful mother, he said of his wife, “I still believe she is the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful, craziest, complicated, amusing person I know.”