After Zach Shallcross dumped her on The Bachelor, Gabi Elnicki is still mourning her loss.
Elnicki, 25, spoke candidly about season 27 of The Bachelor and why she’s “still getting over it” this week while participating in a podcast hosted by fellow Bachelor alum Kaitlyn Bristowe called Off the Vine.
She declared on Thursday’s program, “I am not someone who retains grudges against people, I don’t hold resentment, and I don’t hold rage. “Do I believe Zach and I will become friends? No. Am I still hurt and enraged? Absolutely.”
Fans of Bachelor Nation may remember that 26-year-old Shallcross, in an effort to keep things simple during Fantasy Suites week, established a rule that he would not have any form of sex with his three finalists. But when Elnicki and Shallcross decided to become close, the plot went awry. Shallcross then confessed to having sex with Elnicki to Kaity Biggar, who is now engaged to him.
Before selecting Biggar over Elnicki in the finale, Shallcross later described breaking his own no-sex rules with Elnicki as the “biggest mistake I could’ve done.” Elnicki stated on the After the Final Rose special that Shallcross’s willingness, to be honestly made it “extremely violating that the entire nation knows everything.”
Elnicki claimed that despite everything she has been through, she still wishes her ex and Biggar, 28, the best.
“I intend to be a part of Kaity’s life, and he is going to hopefully wed one of my close friends. And, you know, I’m hoping that at some point I can let go of my hatred, rage, and resentment toward him, she said on the show. “However, I do believe that right now I still feel violated. And I’m still recovering from everything.
It’s challenging since I just have Kaity’s best interests in mind, but Zach isn’t a bad person, either. He doesn’t seem like a vengeful or cruel person to me. He probably didn’t intend to injure me, she said. “I believe that he acted solely to preserve his bond with Kaity, whom he adores and wishes to live out the rest of his days with. I therefore cannot criticize him for that.
“I’m upset and disappointed, and I have a lot of emotions—some of them without words—but I want the best for her,” Elnicki continued. I’m delighted for them if he makes her happy, shows her respect, loves and protects her, and makes her happy overall.
The Vermonter added that she would be the first to voice concerns to her friend if Shallcross’s behavior toward Biggar ever changed.
Before admitting how she’s actively “trying to separate me and my experience from judging their relationship from this point forward,” she said, “If I ever see that not happening, I’ll be like, ‘Kaity, you need to walk away,’ just like I would do with any one of my friends and whoever they’re dating.”
It’s going to take time, she said. It’s uncomfortable, right?
Elnicki also talked about Shallcross’s choice to publicly discuss their personal encounter in the Fantasy Suites and why she wished he had handled it a little differently.
I wish he had given it more thought, she said, “I think the repercussions of it, of exposing me on the level that he did.” There was a method to express, “I was intimate with someone this week,” or “I was intimate in some way this week,” in a conversation.
The fact that Kaity wasn’t the only victim “hurt me. It happened repeatedly to [anchor] Jesse [Palmer] and all of his interviews, she continued. I could make a drinking game out of how many times he used my name to say, “I had sex with Gabi.”
Related: Are Zach Shallcross And Kaity Biggar Still Together? The Heart Of Our American Reality Love Couple
“As I rewound it, I was like, ‘What? Are you serious? Could we not give the imagination any room?’ she said. “I was just trying to address that at the moment because it was just so plain what had transpired and using my name repeatedly wounded me. Following the Last Rose… I understood from his speech and my talk with Kaity that the secret had been revealed, but I was unaware of the full depth of what was disclosed.
Elnicki acknowledged the situation was a little complicated when asked if she was “over” Zach at this point after watching the season back.
“I believe I believed I was over him. However, you must say goodbye permanently after you exit the bubble, right? They won’t accept phone calls or texts. I won’t be contacting him via Instagram, she said. “I knew they were dating since he was with one of my closest friends. In any case, I wouldn’t have wanted to get in touch with him.
But after seeing it from all angles, replaying it was undoubtedly more challenging. Additionally, I thought, “Wait, what is [this]? What’s real? What else is not true?’ she asked. Because I was aware of my own truth, I wondered, “Has any of this been made up? You just have so many questions after watching it again, which was, in my opinion, challenging. However, I don’t believe I’ve really recovered from how betrayed and saddened I felt by the show’s conclusion. But I’m done with Zach. I’m not sure. I could still be in love with him despite what I’m saying.
Elnicki’s most recent podcast appearance was this one. The reality star said last week that she knew Shallcross wouldn’t propose to her in the end, but went through with it for her friend’s sake when she spoke on the Click Bait with Bachelor Nation podcast.
She said to Joe Amabile, “I thought about my relationship with Kaity and if I were in her position, it was apparent, Kaity was the choice. “The choice had been Kaity. She might have thought she was the default choice, though, if I had left. She was a clear choice.
She said, “I didn’t want her to have any doubts when I proposed to her and she watched it all back.
